Macaroni
by ZombieCatTookMyPudding
Summary: Nothing like a bowl of macaroni to start a fantastic, trippy adventure! Just ask Toad! (One-Shot.)


**A/N**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Super Mario_. All rights go to their respective owners. Also, this is based off of a joke my brother made, (thus, credit goes to him for the main idea,) as well as VR Goat from _Goat Simulator_. (DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Goat Simulator_ either. All rights go to their respective owners.)**

* * *

Feeling the warm sunbeams on his face, Toad yawned and stretched in bed as he woke up. "What a beautiful day!" he declared, looking out the window to a blue sky with puffy clouds. "Well, time for breakfast!"

* * *

Most of the servants in Princess Peach's castle liked to eat pancakes or some other kind of breakfast-related food for the first meal of the day. Well, not Toad.

Getting a pot of water to boil, he pulled out one of many boxes of his favorite kind of pasta, macaroni, and dumped it inside.

After he set the timer, Toad took the cheese packet aside and tossed it in the trash: dairy made him gassy.

"LA! LA! LALALA! _LA! LA! LALALA! **LA! LA! LALALA!"**_ Toad sang in a screechy, off-key tone.

 _DING!_

"Oh! It's ready!"

* * *

"Mmm!" Toad gazed down at the plain macaroni in his bowl. "AAAAAH!" Opening his mouth as WIDE as he could, he buried his face in the bowl, chowing down on the meal. "NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!"

By the time he looked up, his vision looked as if he were wearing 3D glasses, the walls were growing higher, and everything else looked so far away.

"WHEEE! TIME TO GO!" Toad bumped into a chair on his way out. "OOF!" Nevertheless, it didn't stop him from running out the door.

* * *

Giggling madly, Toad ran all around the castle. "HO! HEY! AAAAH!" he screamed in glee. "OOF!" he bumped into something red and blue. "OH, HEY, MARIO! WANT SOME _MACARONI?!_ "

"Mm-mm." he answered with a small shake of his head.

"OH. OKAY THEN! LA! LA! LALALA! LA! LA! LALALA! **LA! LA! LALALA!"** he sang, running off.

* * *

Stumbling into the throne room, he saw what looked to be a very tall, pink cloth, with some blue, yellow, and some other pale color attached to it.

 _"Toad, have you been eating macaroni again? You know what it does to you,"_ it asked in a scolding, echo-y tone.

"YEP! WANT SOME, PRINCESS?!"

 _"No. No I don't."_

"OKAY!" he grinned and stood back up on his stubby feet, running and stumbling as he found his way to the garden. There he saw a blurry figure of his best friend, Toadette, working on their cart.

"Hey, Toad!" she called.

"HEY, TOADETTE! WANT SOME MACARONI?!" Toad asked.

Toadette sucked in her breath. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner! "Tempting, but I probably shouldn't. Not while I'm making upgrades to the cart."

"WHAT'S IT NEED _UPGRADES_ FOR?! LOOKS FINE TO ME!"

"Well, it _is_ fine, but I've been giving it upgrades so we win races easier."

"WELL, LET'S TEST IT OUT, THEN!" Slamming down the hood, Toad jumped into the cart and started it up.

"Toad, wait!" Thinking quickly, Toadette grabbed on to the back bar of the cart as Toad sped away.

* * *

They spent many hours driving all over the Worlds, until they eventually ran out of gas by the time they reached Bowser's Castle. After everything they've been crashing into, it was a miracle their kart was still in perfect shape.

"Intruders!" a goomba cried.

"Don't just stand there, get them!" the koopa standing next to him ordered.

Before they could react, they were thrown into Bowser's dungeon.

"LA! LA! LALALA! **LA! LA! LALALA!** **LA! LA! LALALA!"** Toad was practically screaming the song now.

"Toad, stop it!" Toadette complained. "You're hurting my ears!"

"WHAT EARS?!" Toad asked, confused.

Toadette suddenly jumped, and backed into a corner of the dungeon, trembling. To Toad, Bowser appeared to be nothing but blurry, colorful, thin shapes.

"WOW, BOWSER! YOU SURE GOT _TALL!_ WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MACARONI?!"

"Macaroni?! What the hell would I need _macaroni_ for?!" his voice sounded as loud as a **rock concert!** Luckily, Toad was used to such a level of noise.

"I LIKE TO TRIP ON MACARONI! IT'S FUN!"

"Trip on-ALRIGHT, HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?! IT'S A PASTA! A FREAKIN' STARCH!"

"MACARONI!" Toad banged his head on the bars. "MACARONI! MACARONI! MACARONI!" With each "macaroni", he bashed his head into the bars again, until finally, the door fell down on top of Bowser. **"MACARONI!"** Toad declared at the top of his voice, trampling over a stunned Bowser.

"TOAD! WAIT UP!" Toadette followed him, running over Bowser, just as he did.

"Should we go get them?" Alice the Guard Koopa asked.

"...Nah. They're just a couple of kids; not really worth the trouble," her near-identical co-worker, Bob, replied.

* * *

The sky was dark now, and the two had arrived at a large farm. Panting and nearly out of breath, Toadette pushed her way through the corn fields, until finally, she found Toad laying there, finally hitting a food coma from all the macaroni he ate. A chicken was pecking at his head.

"Toad! There you are!" she grabbed him by the feet and began to drag him.

"WAH! WHO'S OUT THERE IN MY CROPS?!"

"Uh-oh!" Throwing Toad over her shoulder, she decided to get out of there, post-haste. No one knew better than they did to stay out of Old Man Wario's crops.

* * *

After yet, another long run, Toad and Toadette finally came home.

"That's it! No more macaroni for you!" she declared as she dumped the sleeping Toad on his bed in the servants' quarters.

Sniffing the air, a good smell caught her attention. It was coming from the kitchen!

* * *

Making her way down, she found a fresh bowl of macaroni, but whoever made it wasn't around.

Looking on both sides of the room, she decided it wouldn't hurt if she had just one little bite...

Cautiously taking a small noodle, she savored it in her mouth. Her vision looked as if she were wearing 3D glasses, the walls were growing higher, and everything else looked so far away.

"WHEEE!"

Uh-oh. Here we go again...


End file.
